The Richer Part of Simply Richer Living

  I am a huge reader.  I love a wide range of literature, depending on my mood; during this particular time of change in my home life, I'm loving non-fiction (biography and history).  When I'm calmer and feeling a lot more secure, I love more serious fiction -- Lolita baffled me, until I got to the end and everything became clear.  When things are smooth, I have the patience to make a long investment to find out why something is worth the effort.

And of course I'm a sucker for really great popular fiction, like (I'm not embarrassed to admit) Twilight or Outlander or The Partner or a great mystery/thriller/spy/horror novel.  I love that summer gives me such an excellent excuse to read beach books.

Because I'm in a time of transition and the busy-ness of the end of my kids' school year, I'm enjoying the solidness of a good biography, which is absorbing and thought-provoking, but solid and lacking any real suspense.  The one I'm reading now, Lytton Strachey: The New Biography ** by Michael Holroyd*, is exceptionally well-written, and the story of Holroyd's efforts to bring it forth is interesting in itself.  I'm really enjoying it, but since I know the broad outline of Strachey's story, I am totally OK with setting the book down to run an errand or go to bed or hang out with my kids or whatever the day requires.  Whereas, when I read Twilight, I sucked the four volumes down in one weekend while my kids watched waaaaaay too many movies and ate peanut butter & jelly sandwiches so I could prepare their meals while I read the book (I'm not kidding -- I set the book next to their plates and read while I spread the jelly).

The best exercise I've gotten in the last six months was the hour I spent pacing my own house while I read  the last few chapters of Dragonfly in Amber, the second book of Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series.  Seriously, I was panting by the time I had to put the book down to pick up my kindergartener, and it wasn't just because of the steamy sex scenes.

Anyway, business is beginning to wind down on this whole house sale/move business -- FINALLY -- and my mind is turning to fiction and engagement again.  So when I found this article, "Read and Comprehend (Nearly) Everything" by Nick Kolakowski, the timing was right.  And I liked it.  Apparently, the secret to understanding Dante's Inferno isn't just being a poetry-comprehension genius -- it's in shelling out the bucks (or having the patience to find for cheap or free) for a really good explanatory edition.  And then having the patience to work your way through it with the endnotes/footnotes.

I have to say, that's pretty reassuring.  It takes a lot of that whole "I didn't go to Oxford so I will never understand this stuff" out of it and just replaces it with a bit of work.  Which one is free to undertake, or not, with basically a $15-$17 investment.  Not to mention Internet access.

Kolakowski also references the Modern Library Top 100, which apparently wasn't only relevant on the eve of Y2K.  The cool thing about the Top 100 list is that it's actually several lists, including reader lists and board ("expert") lists, Radcliffe's Rival list, and a list of 100 Best Non-Fiction.  It's a nice resource to reference when you're not sure what to read next, or if you just want to create kind of a "bucket list" of reading material.  For myself, that's an impossible task, as my "to-read" list grows literally at least twenty times faster than my "read" list.

Which brings me to Goodreads.  I have kept a journal of the books I've read and had recommended to me since I was in high school, but I've abandoned them all now.  I keep track of what I've read and what I'm going to read and what I am currently reading on Goodreads.  It's like a Facebook for fellow readers.  I'm very picky with my friends list -- I have only 23 on Goodreads, compared to ten times that many on Facebook -- and that includes writers who interest me (like Jasper Fforde, who also merits his own blog entry).  I only want friends on Goodreads who are either so close that I can't ignore them (like my husband) or whose reading taste is so similar to mine that I want to know what has caught their eye -- like two friends whose permission to be mentioned I have not requested.

The point is, I recommend Goodreads as a great resource for reading and for reviews.  The reviews are a little more stringent, but more accurate, than those on Amazon, and tend to be written by people who actually read or attempted to read the book they are reviewing.  There are also opportunities to receive free books as part of Goodreads' Giveaway program, among other things.

....

Sorry, got a little distracted placing entries for the Giveaway program...

Anyway, Goodreads doesn't give me anything to plug them, either, but I love how functional and reliable it is.  If the zombie apocalypse comes along on December 21, 2012, and there's no more internet, then I'll be hurting for sure, but for now, it's a great tool and resource.  Check it out.

Kolakowski's final paragraph takes all the pressure off reading with a purpose:

Most constant readers find a balance between the complex, "deep" stuff (i.e., Nabokov, weighty biographies of famous historical figures) lightened with servings of frothy popular literature and nonfiction.

The takeaway here is:  even when life is crazy and hectic and maybe even borderline unmanageable, find a way to do the things you love in ways that fit your life as it is shaped in the moment.  There is something out there that can refresh your brain, whatever way it needs refreshing, and if you don't, then what's all the rest of it for?

Lytton Strachey,
as painted by Dora Carrington
courtesy Wikipedia

  *Lytton Strachey was a member of the Bloomsbury Group and a close friend of Virginia Woolf's.  He is famous in his own right for his excellent historical writing, especially Eminent Victorians and Queen Victoria (I'm not sure this link is the best edition available but hopefully it's all right).  He was one of the first historical writers to write not just hagiography, but a full and personal biography that considered the subject from a variety of perspectives.  This is a lot more important than it sounds and would be worth spending an entire separate post on, but for now it's sufficient to say that the world would be a much stiffer place without Lytton Strachey, who is an absolutely delightful character.  If you don't have it in you to read 500 pages of great and detailed biography that includes snippets of him prowling darkened WWI London in search of handsome young men, then watch the movie Carrington, starring Emma Thompson and Jonathan Pryce, among others, available on Netflix Instant Queue.

** Note that I'm not remunerated by anybody at all for anything that I put on my blog at this time, I'm only sharing these links for my readers' convenience.

Lessons Learned

1. Buy low, sell high.
2. Depending on your geographical location and personal priorities, renting rather than owning a home can be a very good use of your resources (especially if you can't meet condition 1).
3. If you must move, hire very good movers.  And have the courtesy to be prepared for them.
4. Storage units always look bigger when they're empty.
5. The size of the job will expand to the amount of time available.
6. The amount of time available will generally involve an all-nighter. 
7. It is a lot harder to figure out what to do with the stuff you are purging than it is to determine what to purge.
8. If at all possible, try to avoid moving simultaneously with the end of the school year.
9. Since the laundry (and all other ordinary chores) won't happen during a move, buy extra underwear.
10. When one door closes, another door opens.  But that doesn't mean it might not be a bit of a walk to find the open door (that's a Stephen King Dark Tower reference).
11. This too shall pass.

To Polish, Or Not to Polish

To polish, or not to polish, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The bareness of the naked toes,
Or to take action against the chipped and ragged nails,
And by polishing, camouflage them. To paint—to polish,
No more; and by the natural nails to declare an end
To artifice and the damage to the environment
That chemicals cause so surely: 'tis a consummation
To be both wished and feared. To groom, to moisturize;
To sandals wear, perchance to show the feet—ay, there's the rub:
For in those open shoes how vanity may suffer,
When we have gone to dance or walk the beach,
Must give us pause—there's the factor
That makes the healthy choice so difficult to make.
For who would bear the scornful glances down,
The comparisons, with feet both print and present,
Forego the single thing from Vogue that one can do,
The knowledge that the sacrifice is scorned
As eco-snobbery, and self-promotion,
When she herself would just as soon take up
The polish brush? But who would paint those toes,
Knowing, as we do, that formaldehyde and toluene,
And dibutyl phthalate, not to mention acetone, must be disposed,
As toxic waste with other petrochemicals?
We do not feel the cost, beyond the smell,
But bear the consequence of odor, and unaware
Bear bits of polish in lungs and blood, all unfelt.
Thus vanity does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native lack of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the lack of need for thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.


With apologies to William Shakespeare and Hamlet for pre-empting a great speech for the relatively trivial purpose of opening a discussion on the merits and dangers of nail polish.  For perhaps less cryptic information about the impact of nail polish on our bodies and our world, see Green Living Tips and The Ecologist.org

Memorial Day

When I was in eighth grade, my family moved from a very small town in Michigan to Orange County, California.  We arrived in California in October.  The sweaters and jeans I had brought on the road trip were not the most appropriate wardrobe choices for sunny Southern California.  My new short haircut and perm fit in poorly with the free-flowing blond heads of my middle school, and the first person who would talk to me had stories about some encounter with a boy that I did not understand at all.  I felt like a total rube.

Megan looking a lot as she did when we were 13.
http://www.northwestnavigator.com/images/uploads/McClung.jpg

Then I met Megan McClung.  She talked a mile a minute, with incredible enthusiasm about just about everything, but especially about gymnastics.  My last experience of gymnastics had been at the YMCA when I was five, but her enthusiasm and cheerfulness was irresistible.  And she was friendly, and I understood her.  She became my first friend.  

She was my first friend in California, and I will always, always be so grateful for that.  But gratitude only goes so far in teenage friendship, and we drifted apart by the beginning of ninth grade because I am, most emphatically, not an athlete and Megan, most emphatically, was.

On December 6, 2006, Major Megan McClung of the U.S. Marine Corps, was killed in combat in Iraq.   Today, her brother shared the U.S. Marine Corps prayer:

Almighty Father, whose command is over all and whose love never fails, make me aware of Thy presence and obedient to Thy will. Keep me true to my best self, guarding me against dishonesty in purpose and deed and helping me to live so that I can face my fellow Marines, my loved ones, and Thee without shame or fear. Protect my family. 

Give me the will to do the work of a Marine and to accept my share of responsibilities with vigor and enthusiasm. Grant me the courage to be proficient in my daily performance. 

Keep me loyal and faithful to my superiors and to the duties my Country and the Marine Corps have entrusted to me. Help me to wear my uniform with dignity, and let it remind me daily of the traditions which I must uphold. 

If I am inclined to doubt, steady my faith; if I am tempted, make me strong to resist; if I should miss the mark, give me courage to try again. 

Guide me with the light of truth and grant me wisdom by which I may understand the answer to my prayer. 

Thank you all that serve, have served and will serve. It is in your service I always will be indebted.

The world is a poorer place without Megan McClung in it.  I hadn't spoken to her in a lot of years, but it makes me sad to know she's gone.  I am grateful for her commitment, and for her sacrifice, but most of all I am grateful for the generosity that made her a person who could give an awkward newbie the confidence to find like-minded friends.  

How many stories are there like this?

Be Bold
Be Brief
Be Gone

  Megan's family has founded a memorial run in her honor.  Details can be found at: http://www.meganmcclungmemorialrun.com/

Enough

Adeline Virginia Stephen Woolf (Virginia Woolf) with her mother, Julia Stephen, 1884

In "A Sketch of the Past," Virginia Woolf describes her mother, who died when Woolf was thirteen; this memory is written forty-four years after her death, when Woolf was herself fifty-seven:

Certainly there she was, in the very centre of that great Cathedral space which was childhood; there she was from the very first.  My first memory is of her lap; the scratch of some beads on her dress comes back to me as I pressed my cheek against it.  Then I see her in her white dressing gown on the balcony; and the passion flower with the purple star on its petals.  Her voice is still faintly in my ears -- decided, quick; and in particular the little drops with which her laugh ended -- three diminshing ahs... "Ah -- ah -- ah..."  I sometimes end a laugh that way myself.  And I see her hands, like Adrian's [Woolf's brother], with the very individual square-tipped fingers, each finger with a waist to it, and the nail broadening out. (My own are the same size all the way, so that I can slip a ring over my thumb.)  She had three rings; a diamond ring, an emerald ring, and an opal ring.  My eyes used to fix themselves upon the lights in the opal as it moved across the page of the lesson book when she taught us, and I was glad that she left it to me (I gave it to Leonard [Woolf's husband]).  Also I hear the tinkle of her bracelets, made of twisted silver, given her by Mr Lowell, as she went about the house; especially as she came up at night to see if we were asleep, holding a candle shaded; this is a distinct memory, for, like all children, I lay awake sometimes and longed for her to come.  Then she told me to think of all the lovely things I could imagine.  Rainbows and bells...
...
But apart from her beauty, if the two can be separated, what was she herself like? Very quick; very direct; practical; and amusing, I say at once offhand.  She could be sharp, she disliked affectation.  "If you put your head on one side like that you shan't come to the party," I remember she said to me as we drew up in a carriage in front of some house.  Severe; with a background knowledge that made her sad.
...
But can I get any closer to her without drawing upon all those descriptions and anecdotes which after she was dead imposed themselves upon my view of her?  Very quick; very definite; very upright; and behind the active, the sad, the silent.  And of course she was central.  I suspect the word "central" gets closest to the general feeling I had of living so completely in her atmosphere that one never got far enough away from her to see her as a person.... She was the whole thing; Talland House was full of her; Hyde Park Gate [the homes where Woolf's family lived during her childhood] was full of her.  I see now, though the sentence is hasty, feeble and inexpressive, why it was that it was impossible for her to leave a very private and particular impression upon a child.  She was keeping what I call in my shorthand the panoply of life -- that which we all lived in common -- in being.  I see now that she was living on such an extended surface that she had not time, nor strength, to concentrate, except for a moment if one were ill or in some child's crisis, up on me, or upon anyone -- unless it were Adrian.  Him she cherished separately; she called him 'My Joy'.  The later view, the understanding that I now have of her position must have its say; and it shows me that a woman of forty with seven children, some of them needing grown-up attention, and four still in the nursery; and an eighth, Laura, an idiot, yet living with us; and a husband fifteen years her elder, difficult, exacting, dependent on her; I see now that a woman who had to keep all this in being and under control must have been a general presence rather than a particular person to a child of seven or eight.

Virginia Woolf, "A Sketch of the Past"

Moments of Being, pp. 81-83 

Julia Stephen (rear) with six of her seven children, plus a friend.
Front row: Vanessa, Thoby, Virginia, and Adrian Stephen
photos from Dust on the Shelves

This meditation by a daughter on her soul-deep longing for her mother was beautiful and reassuring to me.  The things that Julia Stephen did for her daughters (Woolf and her sister, the artist Vanessa Bell, were both home schooled, with mixed results -- both women counted on their fingers to the end of their days, but could follow Cambridge and Oxford educated scholars with confidence), were less important to her than the fact of her presence.  Woolf doesn't remember the lessons so much as watching the opal ring during the lessons.  She knows she was loved, and though she may have resented all the distractions from her mother's attention, she remembers her lovingly, not resentfully.  She misses those individual attentions, but recognizes that her mother created and sustained the entire shape of her life, a life which she remembers with laughter, and nostalgia, and as a time of the greatest confidence.

In an era when mothers are bombarded with often-conflicting information about the "right" way to parent, when we're constantly told we're not doing enough or when Time magazine can demand "Are you MOM enough?" it's nice to be reminded that it's not so much each individual choice that adds up to "Mom enough" but the simple fact of our loving presence, the "natural quality that a mother -- she seemed typical, universal, yet our own in particular -- had by virtue of being our mother."

Wardrobe Remix #1: The Blue Skirt

Last fall in Las Vegas I bought this skirt at Ann Taylor:

  

Similar from:

Express

Piperlime -- Tinley Road

Piperlime -- Eight Sixty

H&M

Zappos -- BCBGMaxazria

This is how I wore it that evening -- totally appropriate for dinner & a show.
Especially in November, when it is surprisingly cold in Las Vegas.

 

I had this ruffled, tiered top from White House Black Market with me, and could have worn that, but I didn't think the goosebumps would have made the top any sexier.  At home, I put this black blazer over it, which is a great look, especially for the office.  Unfortunately, I don't work in an office.


Once I got it home I didn't have anyplace swanky to wear it, so I tried a few things:

This was OK but nothing special

This was OK but also kind of boring (and also, the top is fairly sheer; I usually wear this under a sweater).  I like it a lot more with the red denim jacket, which is nice because before I actually put them together I would have been worried that the red & blue together would be a little too Fourth of July.

Charlotte created these two looks, mainly based on the baubles she found in my possessions that she wanted to play with.  The top is from Loft and has a bubble hem and flower appliques around the neckline that make it a much more interesting alternative than it appears in these pictures.  But what's inspired about putting a white t-shirt with a royal blue knit skirt?

Unless you do it this way... 

White denim topper, white tank, fine gold accessories 

(except the fancy rhinestone watch that my style advisor Charlotte couldn't resist), and choice of shoes.

Really, any shoes would have worked with this, it's so simple and accommodating.

(Similar white denim jacket at Piperlime; mine is from CAbi, not available this year)

And by the way, I should try this jacket over that tiered top that I can't wear to the office where I don't work.

But it was when I started getting a little more adventurous with putting things together that I began to really fall in love with how versatile the skirt could be.  Suddenly this bright blue color that seemed like such a statement by itself when I got it in Vegas becomes more of a neutral.

     






This is a top I got from the Anthropologie sale room maybe a year and a half ago (so it would have been current two years ago, I guess) I love the giant-size print and the range of colors that make it so multi-season.  There are several shoe options, of course (I showed a lot of restraint only accessorizing it with three pairs).  The Toms wedges (similar available at Nordstrom) in the center are actually striped, which looks kind of trendy with the big print, but it's so fine that it reads as a neutral.  I loved how it worked with the little stripes of light tan in the top.  

The varying options on the shoes & accessories shows how the look can be adjusted for the seasons, with the picture on the right showing a great early fall option -- toss a denim jacket or brown blazer over it to accommodate chilly mornings or evenings -- and the one on the left working well for spring or summer with the brighter colors.  I'm on the fence about the blue shoes with this skirt -- they are a much dimmer color than the picture shows, not exactly navy and definitely not a royal.  But I think they'd be a better evening option than the Toms, which I would wear for toodling around in the daytime because they're so comfortable.  (Brown Clarks sandals)

This black & white sweater from White House Black Market has a tighter waist on the black banded section with a looser, dolman fit on the striped portion.  Here I chose three different accessorizing options to show how one top can dress up and down.  To the left here, I use the same coral bead necklace and gold pendant from Stella & Dot to dress up the striped sweater & blue skirt.  The patent leather slingback sandals make it a little more restrained; the polka dot & floral wedges make it more playful.  Sitting at a restaurant the look would be basically the same, so I would probably make my choice based on the outing and the time of day, with the crazy wedges making a daytime look.

This would probably be my default, "I took very little effort" look.  The sandals are super comfy and the pendant stays pretty much out of the way.  (Thanks to my friend Jami for the adorable wine-cork pendant!)  Although it doesn't take a lot of imagination to put a black & white striped top with a colorful bottom, it's at least a little more interesting than two solids together, and the strappy sandals are sleek and just enough above flip-flops to still be casual without being too much.  This is a great coffee-at-the-playground outfit.

Tucked or untucked? Belt or no belt? 

(for the record, Charlotte prefers the belted version)

This is my personal favorite: bright pink cardigan, flowered top, bright pink shoes.  You can not put on an outfit like this and spend the day scowling.  This one I'll probably wear the very next time I get dressed.














The ideas that came together above pertained to my ordinary life here in the Bay Area, which generally includes school runs, grocery shopping, a little bit of volunteer work at our schools and the church, and my work with the Write On, Mamas!  For my usual rounds, I like to look put together, like I made an effort (I find it makes me more efficient when I feel nicely dressed), but I don't always have or make the time to put on make up or even very much in the way of accessories.


Once a year, though, we make our family pilgrimage to the East Coast, and besides the difference in climates, there is a difference in level of dress necessary for each location that we visit.

Hilton Head:
Striped tank top, hippy necklace & earrings,
thong sandals

North Georgia:
White tank top, black & white striped ruffle bolero,
vintage silver necklace and strappy sandals

Then of course there's something just fun just for kicking around the house.

John Lennon's is the yellow face.  

So happy closet-diving!  The outfits I made here depended on the shape and length of my particular skirt, but any of these would also look good with skinny jeans (or boot-cut, if you can find them) in cobalt, or a fuller-style skirt.  I could just as easily have pulled these same ensembles together using the similarly-shaped kelly green skirt in my closet, as well.  Some would look great with a cobalt maxi as well.  The point is to play with what you've got.  I learned a ton from actually hauling the clothes out of my closet and putting outfits together.  There were a few outfits that I thought I'd try that Charlotte & I just shuddered when we looked at them; a few that were just too boring to be worth going forward.  There was a lot more I could have done with this skirt, which I would not have believed before I started this project.  In fact, I had so much fun that the concept of "shopping my closet" has completely changed for me.  

Please note that I'm providing links to similar just in case... but what I'd love you to do is to actually apply this method to your own closet and see what speaks to you that never spoke before.

Is there a piece in your closet that you really like but can't seem to wear very often?  We can do something with that!  Post a description below and we'll make some time to play with it.

Wardrobe Remixing: An Overview

I have a lot of clothes.  Way more than I need, in fact, and it's the area of my household where I am least likely to minimize.  This picture shows a pretty stuffed closet, and only represents probably half of what I've got -- most of my shoes are in an organizer in my actual bedroom (this is a hall closet), my jackets and dresses are in one of the two closets in my sons' bedroom, and my folded clothes (t-shirts and unmentionables) are in an Elfa unit in the laundry room.

Not to mention Mount Washmore.  So we won't.

But I find myself in a bit of a rut.  The coral-colored plaid shirt always seems paired with the same pair of jeans and the same matching sweater.  Yawn.

My usual solution to the rut is to go shopping.  But that is problematic on a lot of levels, not least of which is clothing storage.  Stronger measures are required.  Hence, the wardrobe remix.

The purpose of this exercise is to develop a lot more creativity in my appearance and to make more use of the clothes I already own.  Most of this stuff I really like, which is how it has survived multiple purges following moves and pregnancies (when my sizes change) over the last few years.  There isn't much in my closet that is older than three years.

The process: take one item of clothing that I really like, that fits well, that doesn't see the light of day as often as it deserves. Then pull a lot of things from the closet that might work with it, and see what I come up with.  Hopefully I'll discover that I've been limiting myself in how I've been wearing that outfit, and that my "go-to" style is not as good as the new looks I come up with.

It may be that I discover a hole in my wardrobe -- that I don't have a great pair of black pants, for example, or that my white button-down shirt has a big stain on it (with three children and a serious coffee habit, that wouldn't be much of a surprise).  And in that case, great!!  When I do go shopping, I will be a lot more mindful in my purchases, which will add to the overall quality of my wardrobe, rather than its quantity.

And hopefully some of my friends out there will find this inspiring as well.  (If you don't, invite me over and we'll repeat this process in your closet -- it's fun, I promise!)

DISCLAIMER:  I know I have a lot of clothes.   I know I have a lot of shoes.  The point of the exercise is to make better use of what I have so that over time, as things wear out, I will make better use with less, rather than continue to carry this crazy load.

My guest blogger Charlotte was a great help to me in the first wardrobe remix in figuring out how to display the outfits, manage the lighting, and lay out the pictures.  I'm not totally satisfied with the process we came up with, but it will have to do till I have a good upright location and photography knowledge to actually model the outfits myself (yikes!!) so that everything shows better.  In the meantime, I hope you enjoy exploring this kind of creativity with me!